Look how long it's been since our little princess got her forever family:

Monday, March 31, 2008

Naming

People keep asking me about the name Mary Margaret, so I thought I would write it down. The reason the blog is named Mary Margaret Maybe is because I wanted to use the name, but my husband did not like it. So, I just kept referring to her as Mary Margaret (rather than "her" or "our daughter", etc.) Lots of people do this when they are pregnant, my brother-in-law names all his unborn kids outlandish names that he calls the baby the entire pregnancy, but that is never the "real" name. So anyway, that's sort of the idea.




I got Mary from my precious 99 year old grandmother who kept me every day after school until I was old enough to drive. She is a saint. She is responsible for my belief in God to this day, I truly believe it because she talked to me about Jesus all the time. For her, being a believer was like going to school or work, it's just something you had to do and you didn't really have too much to think about, she couldn't imagine another way of life. So she instilled that in most of the people around her. My oldest son is named after her husband (my grandfather, obviously.) In addition, my dad's grandmother was named Mary (and she adopted my grandmother, so she certainly is someone who would have understood our heart) and my husband's great-grandmother's name was Mary, so that seems very fitting.




Margaret comes from my dad's mom. She was an amazing woman too. One of the strongest women I've ever known. She was also a very strong believer. I am so proud to be her granddaughter. She passed away last year, but her legacy carries on for sure. For one thing, I look ALOT like her mother. It's weird, I have this old photo of her mother from probably 100 years ago and it's eerie looking to me because it resembles me so much. I have that photo in Mary Margaret's room. Anyway, since she just passed away, I had gotten alot of her things from my dad. And very much by accident, he brought me this pink quilt with butterflies on it. He wasn't actually bringing me the quilt, he was bringing a mirror and used the quilt to wrap it. But that became the anchor piece in her room. After that, my aunt sent me a box of Grandmother's things that included the aprons that are now hanging on the wall. My dad then brought me a quilt box and a little rocker that were her's and the quilt box contained the coverlet that is now Mary Margaret's curtain. I absolutely LOVE walking in her room and being surrounded by all my grandmother's things. My grandparents worked in a factory and farmed all their lives. I can remember spending time with them in the summers after they retired. I would stand on the fence and watch their baby pigs for hours on end. It was my delight when there would be an occassional runt to bring inside and nurse back to health before it could be returned to it's mother. There was no "Charlotte's Web" scenario that I can remember with Grandmother's runts. :) My middle son is named after her husband.




I am so proud and thankful to call these two women my grandmothers. And I feel like my daughter would have a good start to be named after two beautiful, strong, God-fearing, salt-of-the-earth women. So at first, Brian would just smirk when I would say Mary Margaret. But slowly, it caught on and everyone started calling her Mary Margaret. My kids pray for Mary Margaret. My friends call her Mary Margaret. We refer to her room as "Mary Margaret's room." So at this point, her name will most likely be Mary Margaret. However, the one glitch is that both our adopted sons were already named Russian names that equated to the American versions of our grandparents names. That was certainly a nice little pearl. But what are the odds that our Russian daughter will be named Mary or Margaret already? We will just have to wait and see. I can certainly foresee having to revise the name somehow to reflect her Russian heritage, so we are staying open, but for now, that's what we're calling her.

Saturday, March 29, 2008

THIS is why I NEEEEED a daughter!

Okay, I wish I had a photo of my husband today, with a miniature jack-hammer, breaking up our tile floor in the boys bathroom. Yes, he rented a small jackhammer to break up the tile and lids were falling off my pots and pans from my hanging rack downstairs. It's was funny. The boys thought it was great. Brian thought it was the best. Actually, the better photo would have been ME in the goggles with the jack-hammer. Brian thought it was so fun he just insisted that I try it. He kept saying, "It's fun, try it!" So I did. I hammered about two or three seconds, gave him back the ear-plugs and goggles and told him that you must need more body parts to "get it", because I didn't! And that, dear readers, is the very reason I NEED a daughter. I just don't get all the things my boys think are so much fun.

I realize the postings are getting a bit obsessive now. It's pretty sad the addiction I have developed to this "hobby". I told B that I wish I had more things to blog about. Maybe I should start a blog about blogging! :)

"Christ be with me, Christ within me, Christ beneath me, Christ before me, Christ beside me, Christ to win me, Christ to comfort and restore me. Christ beneath me, Christ above me, Christ in quiet, Christ in danger, Christ in heart of all who love me, Christ in mouth of friend and stranger." The Breastplate of St. Patrick

Friday, March 28, 2008

Is the Earth still spinning????

Well, I will have to say that my head poked up out of the mole hole today and I realized that there is actually other stuff going on in life outside of my adoption and blog-world! Wow, who knew? I thought for sure everything had stopped and I was living in some sort of blog Matrix-land! :)

Man, am I in nesting mode. I hung curtains, hung a bamboo shade in my bathroom, frosted the glass on my shower, oiled the hardwoods (by hand), VACCUUMED (man, wonder when the last time I did that? I don't actually own a vaccuum so I used the shop vac! :) I even did the steps, by gosh! Don't say I'm not domestic! On top of that, I went to Target and a fabric sale. They had lots of lovely polyester, but that's another story and I refuse to digress to that level.

I am very excited, several of the blog friends I follow are getting court dates, making first and second trips, bringing home little angels... it's a victory when others you've followed are progressing, even when you're on the sidelines. And it's always good when others are moving because that means we're one referral closer! But we did get some news today that there are starting to be "rumors" or stirrings about referrals. That's as close as we've been so far. Nothing concrete, but just hearing that girls are going to be clearing the database soon, or something like that. That feels much closer, even if in reality we are no closer than ever. Honestly, even if they say absolutely NOTHING, I just love to find e-mail from our agency in the inbox. So, that's my high for the day. Pretty sad, huh? But at least my house is clean. The absolute quote of the day was from my friend Michelle. It's in referrence to the age child we are looking for, compared to the age child her family is waiting for. I don't know why I laughed out loud at this, you'd probably have to be in the midst of insane adoption land to get it, but I'll leave you with it anyway, "I have crib bedding!"

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Do you want the good news or the bad news?

What do you want first?

Okay, the bad... we did NOT get registered in St. Pete Monday. (Hushed silence falls over the crowd!) The REALLY bad part is that this time there is actually THREE weeks until the next time we can be registered because March 31 falls on a Monday, that means the second Monday in April is actually the third week of April. DEEP EXHALE!!!!! Notice the ticker at the top says 19 days to go... not 12 or 11 like it should be!

The Good? The other family whose documents were sent with ours DID get registered AND they received a referral the next day. YEAH!!!! That really is good news because hopefully it will work the same way for us.

I talked to our agency rep and she feels certain that we will be registered next time around. See, I'm already obsessing less. And she thinks they have an idea of other children that will be coming off the database, so unless a Russian family adopts those kids in the meantime, we should get a referral quickly enough. Nothing is a guarantee in this world, we just have to trust God's timing in this and I do trust that the other family was registered because their child was off the database and ready to come home. I trust that we did not get registered because God has already planned the daughter(s) we will adopt and she/they aren't ready for us yet. I know His plans are sovereign. I know that He will prevail. I know there are so many folks praying for us. I feel "Held", like the Natalie Grant song says. And I know that it will happen in His perfect timing. My best friend told me yesterday that she felt like I was actually back on planet earth, that even my voice was different. And I truly do feel that I have taken another step in submitting this to God. But folks, please pray with me becasue I feel that this submissive slope I am standing on is very slippery and I could start to loose my grip at any moment (just like when I looked at the calendar and saw three more weeks to go, I almost "went there".) Maybe this is the level God was waiting for to bring us a victory. But if not, I will cling to the example in Habakkuk (I think I've quoted this before.)

Habakkuk 1:5 "Look among the nations! Observe! Be astonished! Wonder! Because I am doing something in your days - You would not believe if you were told." AND Habakkuk 2:1-3 "I will stand on my guard post and station myself on the rampart; And I will keep watch to see what He will speak to me, and how I may reply when I am reproved. Then the Lord answered me and said, "...the vision is yet for the appointed time; It hastens toward the goal and it will NOT fail. Though it tarries, WAIT FOR IT; For it will certainly come, it will NOT DELAY." (emphasis mine)

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

The Still Quiet of Morning

Our house is quiet this morning. It's a stark contrast between now and five minutes from now when I will wake the boys up and a rush to rival the NY Subway will ensue. I just went up to give the boys their initial nudge before the "real" wake-up occurs. They look like little angels when they sleep and I still love to watch them, even at 8, 6, and 3, in that state of peaceful bliss. I can only imagine the thrill of little curls on a pillow when our daughter is asleep in her sea of pink.

Yesterday was sheer torture, probably the slowest day of the whole process for me. But we made it through and today is a new day. Today we will find out if we are registered or if we start the two-week cycle again. But last night as I finally gave up at 8:30 and decided to put the long day to rest, I realized that it doesn't really matter if we made the registration this time. Yes, I will be disappointed (I'm not made of steel), but I know it WILL happen eventually and I do know that God is in control. I woke up super-early this morning because I couldn't sleep (as usual) and started reading my Bible and a devotional that I am trying to work my way through and all the verses just kept speaking to me. And the main thing they kept saying is that in everything we do, EVERYTHING, the sole purpose is to glorify God. Funny that it didn't say one thing about making me happy! :) So, I just had to remind myself that there is a very good chance that none of this is actually ABOUT me... it's about bringing glory to the Father. And that is something I haven't done very well over the past few weeks. I have been scratching and clawing for this adoption and my posts have even moved away from what I feel Him speaking to me to being more focussed on myself and what's going on every day. This is not the direction I want to head. I have said before that the most amazing part of the adoption process for me, and the reason it's so "addictive" is that I am so totally reliant on the Father in a way I have not been able to duplicate outside of adoption. I feel a closer connection to Him during this process. Just after an adoption, I wake up every morning with a purpose, and that is to acclimate this new little miracle into our family. There's a greater purpose than just me at play. And I have tended to lose sight of that over the past few weeks. Instead of pouring my disappointment on Christ, I have wallowed in it. I am still very hopeful that today will be THE DAY that we get the good news. But if it's not, I have my marching orders for the next two weeks... rely on Him. "God's voice is Peace... the Enemy's voice is fear and chaos." When I read that this morning I shuddered because I realize very clearly whose voice I've been hearing recently... fear and chaos pretty well describe the last two weeks of my life. I am speaking it out of being today! I am NOT going to allow the prince of darkness to steal my hope.

It's a two verse day:

"In him, we were also chosen, destined in accord with the purpose of the One who accomplishes all things according to the intention of his will, so that we might exist for the praise of his glory..." Ephesians 1:11-12

"that he may grant you in accord with the riches of his glory to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in the inner self." Ephesians 3:16

I see you looking!

Where in the world are you?