A little perspective...

Time always gives a little perspective. Knowing God's timing is perfect and agreeing with Him are two totally different things! But the weekend gave me some perspective and I realize that the timing of the delayed registration is actually probably better. Our friends the Hollis' are paper ready, so now there's a chance that their dossier could go with ours. If that happens, then we will most likely travel together... what a BLESSING! The earliest we would travel at this point would be the beginning of March for the first trip, which puts the second trip somewhere closer to warm weather, even if not in the summer. I swore I would never return to Russia in the winter again, and God seems to be agreeing with me! :) And, really, spring break would be so much more convenient for everyone who's helping with the boys, so we might just luck into those dates at this point. Too much later though, and we start getting into Jack's first communion and golf trips, so let's keep our fingers crossed that this is the last delay. Just rambling on here... wishing there was something substantial to tell you, but it's therapeutic to spill it. Thanks for walking this with us!

"Grace to you and Peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. I give thanks to my God at every remembrance of you." Philippians 1:1-3

Blue in a Sea of Pink

Well, it's not the best day on the adoption road. I should have known when Connor picked up our spiritual vitamin at the Y today that it was a sign of God's insisting on some of that perserverance I spoke of (see the scripture at the bottom of the entry.) Of course, I know in my head that there are bound to be these days. Things never go as planned in an international adoption, and how many times I have counseled families that two weeks here or there isn't really catastrophic in the grand scheme of life. But sitting here it sure feels like two weeks is a long time. The agency did not get our dossier translated in time to be registered on Monday. I am not sure what the hold up was. Truthfully, who knows, it could be as simple as there is another dossier to go to St. Pete and it's more efficient for their staff to process bulk numbers than singles, that's not unlikely, actually. Whatever the reason, we will now be registered in St. Petersburg on February 11, barring any more unforeseen delays. In the meantime, this feels excruciatingly slow. It's so hard for me to be an "outsider" in the process. I am accustomed to having access to the Russian staff directly, so this is out of my comfort zone. Can you say... "control issues!" Anyway, that's the latest. So, no more counting down until January 28... now the countdown is on to February 11. I don't like living for a date... my bad mood is in danger of becoming chronic at this point. UGH!

Couple that with a little disciplinary issue with Liam at school today, Brian is out of town, Connor wet his pants today... three times, and you have for one not so terrific day in the life of a mom. But, I am NOT complaining. My friend Melanie is on her way to the funeral of a 17 month old little girl who lost her battle with a heart condition on Wednesday, so even in the midst of all these minor annoyances, I am overly and abundantly blessed. The mom of the little girl amazed me with her faith and I am sure she inspired many who walked the journey with her. The morning after she held her daughter into heaven, she had the strength to write an e-mail about how blessed she is. So if she can endure that, who am I to complain about a few little hiccups in a day filled with blessings!

"Be strong and courageous... for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9

No News Does Not Equal Good News

While the saying "No News is good news" is probably true in that it certainly isn't bad news... but it's not really good either when you are WAITING and WAITING! Anticipation puts me in a bad mood. I never was good at that "Be still" part of knowing that God is God. I'm edgy and ready to go. I feel like I need to be DOING something... that's the ADHD side of my brain taking over. So, in the meantime, I'm painting, sewing, dreaming, and trying to keep myself occupied and on top of real life and out of dreamland.

I spoke with Katrina at CSS (Catholic Social Services) today and she said that our dossier will 99% likely be registered in St. Petersburg on January 28. There is another family who is going to be registered on that same date, so there is a very good likelihood that we will travel with another family. In the meantime, I have asked my three possible travel partners (Brian's mom, Brian's sister Wendi, and my friend Amie) to submit the photo page of their passports to me so that they can have the visa ready at a moment's notice. That certainly isn't enough to keep me occupied and keep my mind from going crazy. ARGH!!!!

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perserverance. Perserverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." James 1:2-4

I'm going to be praying those verses for the next few days, because I want God to use this time of perserverance to develop in me all that is lacking... I want to hold to that promise that if perserverance finishes its work in me, I will be lacking nothing!

Thinking Pink

Okay, here's the latest: Our dossier did arrive safely in Moscow on Monday. Katrina says that St. Petersburg registers dossiers the second and fourth Monday of every month, so feasibly, our dossier could be registered in St. Pete on January 28. I need you all to pray that this is what happens. I did tell her that if they know of a little girl who is healthy in another region, we would consider her, but if we are waiting for a referral, then I prefer St. Pete. I have been on the St. Petersburg orphan database every day praying for each of the little girls in the age range we are requesting. I know that God has chosen a very specific child for us and that she is waiting for us.

In the meantime, I am expending this excess energy by decorating her room. Here are the before shots. I will post more when the decorator leaves today. I know I will have alot of work to do though, fabric, sewing, etc. Can't wait! :)

The Latest

I spoke with Katrina at CSS this AM. Our dossier arrived safely in Moscow... that's one answered prayer to check off the list. So, it's just a matter now of translating the documents and getting them over to St. Petersburg. Brian and I went to the notary this morning and finished up the extra documents that St. Pete requires. Tomorrow morning I will pick up a copy of an added document from Catholic Charities and an extra copy of our marriage license, and we will be ready for this second round of documents. This is totally typical of Russian adoption, there are always last minute papers to gather and prepare. There will be another round between trip one and trip two, so we're not exactly done, but we're one step closer. It's so real now.

Today I bought the paint for her room and will take all the truck stickers down off the ceiling (from when that used to be Liam and Jack's room, a few years ago.) Julie Jordan (decorator) is coming on Wednesday and she will help me pull it all together. I am SO excited. Once I get it together I will post some picks here.

My quote for the day comes from an e-mail Brian sent me:
"When Satan is knocking at your door, simply say, "Jesus, could you get that for me?" LOVE IT!

Shouts of joy and victory resound in the tenst of the righteous: "The Lord's right hand has done mighty things!" Psalm 118:15

I spoke with Katrina at CSS today. Our Dossier is being sent to Moscow TODAY for translation! YIPPPEEEE!!!!! Can you believe it? Once it is translated, they will let us know where it is going. I talked it over with Katrina and told her that my first choice would be St. Petersburg and my second choice would be Moscow. It's so exciting to think that this is happening. I have to gather three more documents, so that still has to occur before we will be invited for our first trip, but wow! Once the dossier is in Russia, it's real, the labor pains have begun!

"Though you have not seen Him, you love Him; and even though you do not see Him now, you believe in Him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy." 1 Peter 1:8

Progress

On December 20th I mailed our dossier to North Carolina to Catholic Social Services. They received it on the 21st and have reviewed it. Yesterday, I talked with the Russia director, Carol, and she said that our dossier will go to Moscow sometime within the week. It will travel with another family who is going to adopt so it will be given directly to Svetlana, the Russian Coordinator. Now is when things start to feel real. There is a real little girl out there whom God has chosen to be our daughter. Every day He is preparing her to meet us and He has been caring for her until now. "Your eyes foresaw my actions; in your book all are written down. My days were shaped, before one came o be." Psalm 139:16 WOW!



Carol believes we will travel by the beginning of March. That is really overwhelming. I have all these emotions regarding this adoption. I am anxious to get her home, knowing this will be our last child, I just want all my family around the dinner table and to know that everyone is safe and home. That will feel like peace, I think. But also, knowing there is hard work ahead with helping her adjust. And I worry about Connor being de-throned from the "baby king" position. I know he is going to struggle with sharing the spotlight, but in the long run, it will certainly be good for him.



We don't know where we will go. We are hoping not to return to Moscow because of the ten day waiting period that Moscow is strictly enforcing now. St. Petersburg allows the ten days to be waived and often gives advanced referrals, which would allow us to consult our beloved, trusted, Dr. Heil, before traveling. However, we are trusting God to intervene on our behalf and direct those involved to send our dossier to where our daughter is. We believe that there is a specific child who He has chosen from the beginning of time to be part of our family and I am dependent on Him to bring us together with her. "Behind and before you encircle me and rest Your hand upon me." Psalm 139:5 I have been praying for her for a long time, but now I have very specific prayers for her. Many faithful people are praying, so now is where faith and trust in Him go into action. This is where the rubber meets the road, so to speak, and we get the chance to live out what we speak of faith and trust in God. It's such a hard thing to give up control, to fight the urge to over-manage the process, and to just breathe and be still, waiting on Him and His PERFECT timing. "Cease striving and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10



I think Brian is hoping that this waiting period will be extended a little, as I have been a cleaning fool the past week. I have cleaned out closets and cabinets, waxed floors and furniture, and generally gone crazy trying to get my "nest" in order. Nesting is not something that is only for third-trimester women, it's for all expectant moms!



Thanks for checking in with us. There should be many more posts in the coming weeks and we will certainly use this site to publish from Russia if we can. We covet your prayers during this time of anxious, expectant, WAAAAIIIIITTTTTIIIIIINNNNNGGGGG!