St. Petersburg Is....

I wrote the following post on our court day. I forgot that I had written it and wanted to be sure to post it for the record! :)


These are the things I think of when I remember St. Petersburg, obviously outside my precious daughter, that is! :)

1. World's Tiniest Hotel Room

2. Beautiful Canals that remind me of Venice, Italy

3. Crowded Sidewalks (especially on Nevsky Prospekt)

4. Smokers

(sorry, no photos of those, you'll just have to take my word for it, or smell my laundry!)

5. Very Beautiful Women!

(I suppose I could have taken photos, but then that might have appeared strange. But seriously, almost every woman you see in this city is super-model gorgeous, I mean GORGEOUS! I don't know where they get these genes, but they are very beautiful!)

6. Speeding Cars (seriously, watch out for your life)

7. Stray Cats

8. The Hermitage

9. No rules regarding lining up. Seriously, the stuff we learn in Kindergarten has just escaped the Russians. Even my Russian friends marvel at this phenomenon that you won't experience most anywhere else (so it's not just me!) There is no amount of personal space allowed. If you are being served at a counter, a Russian will come and stand RIGHT BESIDE you! Really right beside, not near, BESIDE! And if you allow the person in front of you in line the slightest amount of personal space, a Russian will fill that space, assuming you aren't in a hurry. So, if you are lining up to do something, remember to stand almost touching the person in front of you or else you'll never advance. I promise you won't be considered rude, it's the expected thing. Also, note that if you are carrying a baby, it's perfectly acceptable to go straight to the front of the line... now that rule I could get used to! :) I think that's where they get the rules for driving too! :)

10. Savior on the Spilled Blood Church

11. Giant Gutters (seriously, can you imagine the torrent of water that comes out of that sucker?)

12. Miracles!

WHAT?! was I thinking????

Every seasoned mother knows that kids are like little pit vipers, they can smell it when you think you have victory and that's when they move in for the kill. Every mom knows NEVER to tout a success or say they think they have it under control... NEVER EVER do you do that because that's when the little monsters will pull the ace out of the hole and knock you off your feet... so, yep, that's what Meg did. She gave me a few good nights with the door open, just to lull me into that sense of success. She let me believe I knew a thing or two, ONLY to completely change the rules on me. UGH! It's worse than ever. She decided that the door open stuff wasn't enough, she simply MUST have ME (no one else, just me) standing or sitting in the room with her. That would be fine and dandy if she would just lay down and go to sleep, but when I am in there, she's being all coy and trying to make me laugh and get my attention. Anyway, it's what I get. Four kids into this thing I knew better. Every time I say "never" or "not me", that's when the kids punch me right in the gut and make me eat my words... motherhood is a humbling profession isn't it? God has a great sense of humor, that's for sure.

The Secret!

Okay, I know "The Secret" is some book Oprah loves... but the REAL SECRET is what I found yesterday... and it's how to get Meg to sleep in her crib without me spending an hour in her room sitting on the floor pretending not to look at her. You just plop her in the crib, walk out of the room and LEAVE THE DOOR OPEN! Yep! That was the key. And how did I discover this? Well, I did the rocking, singing, sitting on the floor thing and then Connor poked his head in the door:
Connor: Will you sleep with me?
Mom: Not right now buddy, I'm putting Meg to sleep. Ask Daddy.
Connor: I did, he said, "No!"
Mom: Okay, I'll come in there for a minute, but if she cries, I have to come back in here.
Connor: Okay!

I walk out, leave the door open, tell her I'll be back, and go to Connor's room. No crying, not a peep, just rolled over and went to sleep. Fluke? Maybe, so I try it again today at nap, read, sing, into bed, door open. Not a peep! Wow! Okay, again tonight at bedtime, no crying. I think we've found the solution. I should have clued in when she made me shower with the door open. She hates closed doors, I can't even walk into the bathroom with the door closed because she freaks out no matter what. So, now, we do the bedtime routine, wait for her to go to sleep and then close the door. I'm liberated! :)

Here's a photo from the week... because I know you're dying to see one! hehehe

Nobody Told Me? Not exactly....

Okay, maybe you've notice that my new "theme song" for the blog is "Nobody told me there'd be days like these."... strange days indeed. The truth is, people did sorta tell me, or at least they tried to. But, as is typical for me, I didn't listen. Or more likely I just thought I was above it all, like somehow, I'm different. Anyway, duh, here I am in the middle of strange land. What makes it strange? Glad you asked! The most amazingly strange thing is that I (me, Ondrea, moi) am the person who is making the rules (sort of), I am the one responsible for keeping these four little people safe. I am the "responsible" one in this scenario (I mean, not counting Brian, he's definitely more responsible than me. He even remembers to make the coffee the NIGHT BEFORE so that it's waiting for us when we get up. I always procrastinate when he is out of town and then regret it when I have to wake up to no coffee, but that's a whole other post.) Anyway, that is definitely strange that here I am, with four kids, actually doing stuff like chairing the PTO at our school and being involved in change in our neighborhood and taking baby gifts and getting food delivered to me from alot of good Southern women because I have a new baby. This is stuff that's supposed to happen to grown ups! I mean, did you catch that? I have FOUR kids! I have FOUR KIDS! I HAVE FOUR KIDS! Aaaaggggghhhhhh!

Being Catholic, we know our fair share of folks who have four kids (and five and six for that matter.) But I can't believe I am old enough to have four kids. I mean, here I am living this thing that I wanted for SO long in my life. I am in the midst of my dream. This is surreal and oh so real at the same time. I am over-gifted from God. I love that term, "over gifted", it's from my friend Marina who was trying to tell us that we had brought her too many gifts when we made our second trip to Russia. The truth is, I am just drowning in this blessing and basking in it all at the same time. I am so very over the top happy to have all my kiddos home at last and putting their feet under one table. As far as I know, I don't have to worry about or think about one not being loved or cared for anymore. I don't have to wonder where in the world one is. I don't have to long for or feel that empty spot any more. I am so overjoyed and THANKFUL beyond belief for the promise God has fulfilled. I am just in absolute awe and wonder at what He can do with so little as what He had to work with when He and I started out on this journey to me being a mommy.

I am also drowning in the blessing too. I mean, I do have those moments (mostly in the mornings before 8 when Meg is up and I am too, though I would rather not be, and no one else is awake yet) where I wonder how in the world I am going to get through the next 11 hours until it's time to start the bedtime routine. But I have awesome kids. And the day is never quite as bad or as tiring as I imagine it will be. Well, actually, sometimes it is as bad and as tiring, but not usually. And even so, it's all part of the ride. It's what earns us moms our special stripes on the sleeve of our secret jackets. It's what gets us the extra stars in our crown. It's what makes our kids really want us when times get really tough, for the rest of our lives, most of us want our moms (all things being equal) when the going gets really really tough. I mean, there are times when things are SO bad that the only person you can really call is your mom. And that's because of all the crap your mom did for you when you were little. And I keep reminding myself of that because I am doing alot of crap right now. Both figuratively and literally! :)

Anyway, this post is basically to say that I am still in the middle of transition land, but the clouds have thinned out a little. It's not storming cats and dogs now, it's just a light drizzle. Most of my neighbors might tell you that I'm returning somewhat to normal, life is looking a little less squeezed over here. The house is looking worse than ever, but we do open the blinds now at least! :) Everyone is adjusting, including me (I'm always the first to advocate change and the last to embrace it.) Anyway, things on the sleep side have gotten better since we switched to the crib. Dangit, I just hate it when my mother-in-law is right. She gently suggested to me on the first day we were home that I might consider getting the crib down and saving the little pink bed (the TO DIE FOR PINK PRINCESS BED... remember?) for later. "Oh no," I replied, "She was already in a toddler bed in the orphanage and I have all this bedding (spoken like first time girl mother) and it's so cute and I just HAVE to use the pink bed RIGHT NOW!" (Seriously, didn't I already have three kids who I begged to sleep in a crib until they were 16... WHAT WAS I THINKING?) Anyway, dangit, she's always right! Seriously, she is always right and for some reason after 14 years of knowing this woman, I always think "this time I'm right" and always have to eventually end up saying, "You were right, I should have listened." Oh well, good thing I hadn't sold the crib (yeah, right, like that's gonna happen) and anyway, the pink bed is still in the room, only now it has all her dolls and stuffed animals in it. She will still sleep in it, but she will probably be three!

Oh, and by the way, just to prove I am a crazed, drowning mother of four, yesterday I drove to our beloved Dr. Heil's office (in BELLEVUE!) only to find out that her appointment is NEXT MONDAY! UGH! Imagine my frustration! For those of you who are not from Nashville, I drive about 45 minutes to the pediatrician because I am absolutely certain there is not another doctor in the entire world as wonderful and smart and Godly and all around perfect as Dr. Paul Heil and we are so lucky that he is a short 45 minutes away, how could I not drive over there. Besides, my kids are so worth it! Anyway, I drove all that way, walked in with her in her adorable smocked bubble and pink shoes and the receptionist says, "Honey, you guys are on the schedule for next Monday. I would fit you in but we don't have your chart here from the business office yet." Oh well...

Psalm 67:1
"God be gracious to us and bless us, And cause His face to shine upon us-"

Uzbekistan Family

Will the family who posted the comment a few days ago, who is adopting a child from Uzbekistan, please contact me directly. I tried to find your blog, but it's invitation only and I can't figure out how to find your e-mail address. I would like to talk to you about Uzbekistan as that is where our daughter is from.

Thanks! You can e-mail me directly through the blog link or at ondreaharrison@gmail.com.

Sorry for the delay, but things are a bit busy!

Okay, blog stalkers! I know you have been trying very nicely to give me some space as our family adjusts, but I know I have a responsibility to keep the torch going, so here goes, a 50,000 foot fly by of the first two weeks at home with a little girl among all the princes.

She is warming up very nicely to Daddy, which was our number one prayer every night. Now she reaches for him, lets him pick her up for short periods of time, plays with him, eats with him, and actually gave him a kiss tonight. Big big progress in two weeks time.

She likes the pool, which is a good thing for a swim team family. She will go pretty much anywhere if I am holding her, but will play on the step alone with her toys for short periods of time now.

She has adjusted to all the little girls in our neighborhood who want to hold her and talk to her all the time. At first, she was very scared of them, now she gives high fives, waves, and smiles at them.

Whenever a car drives down our street and we are in the yard she says, "Hi!" and waves her little hand.

There are too many new words in English to count them all, but the big ones are Concon (short for Connor, big brother), Hi, Thank You (something close), Love you, Bye Bye (and she interchanges it with Paka from time to time too), Night Night and Yum Yum Yum (which she says after almost every bite of anything.

She is sleeping later in the mornings, somewhere between 6:15 and 6:45 is the norm. She is getting harder to put to sleep. She doesn't cry, which I am very thankful for, but I have to lay with her or rub her hair until she gets to sleep and that takes the better part of an hour now where it used to take only about 30 minutes. She stays in her bed though, and doesn't get out until someone comes for her, which is very nice.

The boys are adjusting pretty well. I really couldn't ask for any better from any of them. Jack and Meg have formed a mutually ga ga relationship. She lets him wag her all over the house and play with her alot. She is really having fun with Connor alot too. I tried to get a photo of them both on the electric Harley tonight, but she bailed off before I got the camera, he never stopped, he just kept moving and she rolled into the grass. She's a tough cookie! :)

We've learned alot about parenting girls in the past two weeks, but we still have SO much to learn. Wow, are they different from boys! One thing that we learned about our girl in particular is that she does NOT like to be naked.... EVER! I mean, when I am changing her diaper, or getting her ready for bed, she cries until there is some article of clothing on her. We figured out that if we put her in the bathtub in her bikini bottom, she will play forever. The minute I take it off (because the part that it covers is the most in need of some soap and water), she freaks out. I can even wash her hair and pour water to rinse her head without too much protest, but take off those bottoms and buddy bar the door!

So, that's the first two weeks' highlights. Sorry I have been so dilinquent in writing. It's not that I can't check e-mail or look at other blogs, it's that she wants to sit in my lap and bang on the keyboard so I can't exactly respond or write when she is awake. By the time she has gone to bed, I've usually collapsed, but it's Friday night and I refused to get in bed before 10:30. Yes, yes, I know, it's still lame that I'm blogging on a Friday night at 10:00, but at least I'm awake, this is progress! :)

Good night all you Bloggerlanders. I'll leave you with a few photos!

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Pretty in Pink

 

Okay, every little girl needs a tutu! It just so happens this one is a hand-me-down from my goddaughter, Carly. I just LOVED this and couldn't wait to put it on her. It's so much fun to wear a tutu on an ordinary day!

Did I mention I hate transition?

How can a person who absolutely LOVES change, hate transitions? It doesn't make sense to me, but that's who I am. Actually, alot of my preferences and idiosyncracies don't make sense to me, but I digress. Anyway, what I want to say is that I HATE the transition period.

This is something alot of adoptive families won't talk about. Oh sure, there are families come home and live in "Perfect" (you know, the town in the Walgreen's commercial.) But for what I believe to be a majority of us, transition is hard. It's fraught with moments of peril, exhaustion, and absolute loss for what to do with this stranger in your home. Did you ever think about things like, how did she get herself to sleep, why does she sing non-stop (it's very cute, but I wonder if it's a stress coping mechanism for her because she seems to sing faster when she's stressed), why does she tug at her diaper and cry (is it before or after she's peed in it?) I mean, these are just the tip of the iceberg. You could go deeper with questions like, how do I make my other kids feel like their life isn't totally disrupted for her? How do I let my youngest (who's birth order has been disrupted) know that he is still just as precious and special to me today as he was a month ago? How do I help him, me, my DH, my other sons all cope with this new little person and the demands she brings with her. That's to say NOTHING of the soothing and loving I am trying to give her each day as I know she is under more stress than any of us. This tiny little beautiful creature has held up amazingly better than most of the rest of us.

Anyway, again I'm "on the road to Mexico", a term I'll explain some other day. What is really sad is that most families won't talk about this stress. After our first adoption, I felt like I didn't have the "right" to complain because we had tried so hard and so long to be parents. The couple of times I did express exhaustion, confusion, or discontent, I was met with responses like, "You waited so long for this." Or, "This is what you wanted." I mean, really, let's get serious people, would you ever say something like that to the mother of a newborn who has colic? P-L-E-A-S-E!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

After my second adoption, my social worker even "criticized" me, saying that I was allowing them to have power over me and that they were trying to control me. Only our pediatrician was a light in the darkness of that transition! My oldest son HATED my middle son for many months. Every single photo of the boys from the first six months is exactly the same. Jack has his arm around Liam in what would appear to be a loving gesture. My neighbor said he was trying to love Liam to death because there was always an expression of gritted teeth on Jack's face and Liam was always screaming and trying to get away from the head-lock Jack was trying to pass off as a hug. We joke now when they fight and say Jack's still not over the fact that he's no longer an only child! :)

Now that we have Meg, I again feel that I am not allowed to experience a negative emotion. The old "this is what you wanted" keeps thumping through my head, this time a stark reality that this, truly, is what I wanted. And also, when you have four kids and you mention that you're tired, you run the risk of someone saying, "Well, duh, what did you think it would be like." I mean, so many people have made sweet and well-meant comments about "Four, wow, you guys are amazing." or some other such polite way of saying, "Have you completely lost your mind!?" But I know there are other mothers out there who are frustrated, tired, confused, exhausted, and just plain sick of TRANSITION! I am not ashamed to say that "Yes, I did want this! I STILL want it. I desperately wanted a daughter and thank God 21,347 times a day for her and the three other beautiful kids He's given me. I love every single thing about being a parent (well, maybe not the voyeurs who watch me shower, potty, and every other personal thing imaginable, but you know, most of it is great.) Anyway, I think you can have it both ways. I think you can absolutely love parenting. You can be thankful beyond words for the gifts God has given you, but also worn out by them at the same time.

I think the jet-lag is just now kicking in. I've hit a wall today that I saw out there in front of me for several days. It's like I saw it on the horizon, I knew I was getting closer to it, but it still snuck up on me. When I hit it this afternoon around 5:00, it was as if it popped up out of the ground without warning and I almost panicked. I was at a swim meet with my two oldest boys. I stood up to take a photo of my son at the finish line and Meg lost sight of me (I didn't move, I was still right in front of her, but there was a crowd and it freaked her pretty bad), she started to sob! I picked her up and all of a sudden, my three-year-old just went off the edge he had been clinging to. He wanted to be held too. Mind you he weighs about 45 pounds and she weighs 23. It's not exactly an easy task to tote the two of them through a crowd and across a parking lot. I decided I had to leave NOW, but neither of them would get in the stroller or let any of the neighbors/friends moms hold them or help me. Now, I am a person with pretty significant clostrophobia. All of a sudden, I was trapped in the middle of this crowd of people, and all I could think of was, "How am I going to get out of here?" I didn't disguise my panic very well, but managed to hold the tears in until I got outside the pool gate. Luckily my sister (from another mother) was right by my side and just loving me in her amazing way. I made it to the car, drenched in sweat and tears and just utterly sucked dry. I had nothing left in me.

See, the risk I run in sharing this story is that people I know will read this, people who haven't adopted, and they will feel sorry for me. They will start to call and ask if I'm okay or if I'm better. They will imagine in their minds that things are worse than they are. (We've all had a bad day with our kids, it's just that during transition, you don't have the "answers" to getting it back on track.) They will form some inkling of a negative thought about how hard adoption is. I run the risk of overshadowing the AMAZING things the Lord has done for us in the past months. And He has showed out for us in a number of ways and a number of occasions. I don't want to take away from any of that. I want everyone to know that I can be exhausted, hurting for my youngest son in transition, hurting for Meg in her transition, hurting for my husband as he tries to bond with our daughter, worried about his stress level in trying to provide for six people, and STILL be over the moon, overjoyed, elated, ecstatic, and SOOOOOO thankful to have a daughter, this particular daughter, and be home and blessed to be experiencing this with my amazing family. So if I know ahead of time the risk I run and the reaction I will get from some folks, then why even mention it? Because I have counseled enough families who are ashamed of these feelings and feel alone in the wilderness of transition. These families are so surprised to hear that alot of other people feel this way too. This is something that isn't spoken of much in the adoption community. Our tidy little secret that most people won't even admit to themselves. I too even feel the need to balance the white flag of exhaustion with the disclaimer "but I am really happy... really!"

Anyway, I'm rambling (on and on and on) at this point. My main point is just to say that if you are in transition, don't feel like you don't have the right to those feelings. Don't feel like you don't have the right to be bewildered and confused and exhausted. Everyone knows that moms of newborns are exhausted. New moms are able to say they are tired and everyone understands, because alot of people have BTDT. It's no different if you've adopted... no different, so don't feel guilty about those feelings, they are just a part of it. It doesn't mean you don't love your child more than life! Even some new moms don't have the kind of friendships where they can be genuine about their feelings. I remember one time a family member went to dinner with me and my close girlfriends. We were all laughing about our kids, complaining about not being able to finish a phone conversation, talking about things that drive us crazy (mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, MOM!!! MOM!!!!!, get the picture) and my family member came away from that night saying how freeing it was to her to hear us sharing so genuinely with each other. She hadn't heard women share that honestly with one another about their feelings and she wondered why no one else felt as exhausted and worn down as she did until she heard my friends laughing about it and commiserating. So I am saying, this isn't an adoption phenomena by any means, but I think we have an extra veil of guilt about feeling anything other than absolute elation! So, I'm coming out of my closet, so to speak, and I hope you will all give me the grace to say this and not feel sorry for me or worried about it. It's a totally natural feeling in a long and tedious process of melding a family together. But it doesn't take away one ounce of the joy I feel for all that's transpired in my life to date. On the contrary, I already know three times over what the transition transforms your family into, how it stretches and strengthens ALL the relationships around you, particularly with your spouse, and it's one of the things that eventually is one of the greatest blessings of parenting AND adoption!

I really suppose I don't have to worry about many comments, if you're still reading at this point, you are definitely either very bored or a fellow PAP! :)

Hebrews 13:5
"Never, no never will I leave you nor forsake you."

Fun at home with Sis!

 

 

 

 

Dorothy, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore!

I think this is probably Meg's thought as she tries very valiantly to adjust to the crazy life that is now her's. In a world of three boys, you have to hit the ground running. Life certainly doesn't stop for the fourth child like it does for the first and even the second. She is doing pretty well, other than the fact that she was up for the day today at 3:30 AM, which means I was up too. But you have gotta love that she was in there crying and when I went to comfort her, she wasn't laying in her bed afraid, she was sitting in the floor crying because she couldn't get her white patent Mary Jane's on! :) That's my girl! :)

So, you don't care about all that, all you want is this anyway:

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Here it is... the long awaited photo!

Sorry folks, stop chastising me on e-mail. I don't have access to our laptop here at Ron and Dinia's apartment. The ONLY inconvenience about being here. So now, not only is Dinia hostess with the mostest, cook, and tech support, but also, now, photographer and blog assistant.





Without further adieu, here is the newest Harrison family member.

Our day was a good one! We had success at the US Embassy. This means our final hurdle is registration with the Russian Consulate tomorrow morning, pick up the visa on Friday afternoon, and then have dinner with Vitaly and Marina tomorrow night. We leave to come HOME on Saturday at 12:30. Brian is just standing here saying, can you believe it was three days ago we were in court? It's hard to believe how much has happened in our life in three days.

No puke today, so we're making progres!

Moscow at last!

We're finally here! We arrived in Moscow at about 3:10. But let me back up. We picked Miss Meg up this morning at around 10 AM. She was not too happy to see us, but calmed down ever so quickly. She was fine all the way to the St. Pete airport and had a pretty good time, actually, once we got inside the airport. She ran all around and played little games with us like peek-a-boo, or her version of it anyway. Then we caught our flight to Moscow. Everything was fine. She ate an entire banana, drank a little milk, a juice box of apple juice, and some bread and rice. Things seemed to be going great.... then we started to descend on Moscow and the puking started. Bye bye Baby Lulu dress, hello outfit number 2.

We were met at the airport by... GASP.... PASHA!!! The Famous PASHA who I never dreamed we would get to have with so many families here for such a long time. I was instantly happy and knew we were in good hands. As it turned out, there was a family from Atlanta who was also really happy we had Pasha. They were here as tourists and it seems they didn't get the infamous STAMP (needed for all things Russsian) and were not allowed to leave the airport. Pasha sorted it all out for them and then we were on our way.

Bye bye outfit number two. About 20 minutes into the Moscow traffic, hello puke! So, we strip the shirt off that baby and she's walking around Moscow like a real red-neck, no shirt, pants sagging at the waist and diaper hanging out. :)

Pasha took us to the office of CSS and we did some paperwork for the Embassy. Pasha took good care of us. By the way, adoptive families, you only need the two main pages of your tax returns, not the entire thing, according to Pasha.

Then he took us to meet up with Dinia and Ron. They have graciously offered us the run of their second bedroom and we've quickly filled it with our three bags full of junk. Not only is there a King sized bed here, they have King Sized hospitality... they are from Alabama, after all, and no one puts on the hospitality like a Southerner. They had dinner in the oven when we got here, we said grace before we ate and Ron blessed it to the nourishment of our bodies, just like my Grandaddy and Pap used to! :) I can not tell you how wonderful it is to find a little bit of the South in Moscow. I love this city more and more every time I visit. Getting here was like a breath of fresh air, instantly I just felt happier when we landed.

Anyway, we went for a little walk and Meg had her first bath. She wasn't too happy about it, but overall, it could have been worse. She's actually smelling good at this point, no more institutional funk for our girl! :) Sorry I cannot post the photo because we cannot use our laptop right now, maybe tomorrow.

SO... if you have any prayer stamina left in you, please crank it up because we are hearing that the Embassy is going to TRY to get our visa done tomorrow (in one day, it usually takes two.) Because Friday is a holiday (July 4) the Embassy is closed. They generally do not process visas in one day, however, they are telling us it can be done in one day this time. If not, then we won't be home until..... gulp..... WEDNESDAY! :( I simply cannot be away from my baby boys that much longer.... no way! That's two weeks folks... I will go crazy. PLEASE PLEASE pray that the Embassy has mercy on us.

Okay, I am off to bed. I am so sleepy I could fall asleep typing this and Meg is sleeping in our room with us so I have to get her down.

Nighty Nighty everyone!

Our real Pink letter day

Today is the day. We will be picking Meg up in a little over an hour from now. I have been awake for hours, couldn't sleep. I had to go into the bathroom to type so I wouldn't wake Brian up. I felt like a teenager with my cell phone. :)

I just wanted to send this post quickly and then I have to go get myself ready and checked out of the hotel. I am on cloud nine. I have waited my whole life for this day, as my father-in-law says on special occasions. I am just about to bounce my way down the hall here! :)

But I needed to clear something up. So many people have written to me to tell me that I have great faith and that I was inspiring or whatever. I want you all to know that the glory is not mine, but His. I do not have great faith. In fact, as I told my friend, Sonja, God, once again, had to come and find me in the dry parched land known as Me. I too often bow to the idol of Ondrea and I really have very little faith. God knew that I needed Him to show up here in a big way and He did that for me. I posted that verse yesterday from Psalm because I weep when I read that... that He came for me because He loves me. It's totally unbelievable to me that He actually does still love me after all the me-ism of the past year and the complete lack of faith I have shown at so many intervals in this process. But He is always good, we serve a God who is the same, regardless of how we are, and for that I am most grateful and blessed. So, I just wanted to clarify that because I felt that alot of people were looking at me and saying, "Look what her faith did." But I want the truth to be known, I am of little faith... "Look what God did!" And I promise you that if He did it for a pit-dweller like me, He will most certainly do it for you! I learned the true meaning of the measure of a mustard seed, that was all I had to give, but He honored it! If you are in the middle of an adoption, or if you are in the middle of any trial in your life, believe with whatever small amount of faith you have to offer. God wants you to believe in a big way and He will help you get there!

One other note I should mention is that this was not my faith alone, but rather the faith of many strong and faithful believers on my behalf. I had probably hundreds of people praying very specifically for me, some in a way that they believed to be futile, but they prayed with me none-the-less. I credit First Baptist Church in Fulton and many Catholics throughout Tennessee and every adoptive parent that reads this blog and friends of my parents, and friends of Brian's parents, and neighbors and many people I don't even know who undoubtedly lifted us. Several who woke at just the hour of our court, for no reason other than a stirring in their heart, and they too prayed! Thank you all for your prayers on my behalf and for your kindness.

With much love and excitement, because the next time I post, it will be a family photo of our sweet Meg and us! :)

So close now!

Okay, today was a day of waiting and waiting and waiting. It started like this, we were met at 11:30 by our translator and a new driver. They took us to the passport office to apply for Meg's Russian Passport. We were told yesterday that the passport would be ready only after 4 PM tomorrow, so we booked flights to go back to Moscow tomorrow night. Then today at 12:30, we are in the passport office and lo and behold, Nina waves her magic wand, and the passports will be ready today at 5 PM. Okay, let's do business... so, we go to Papa John's for lunch. This is the first thing that has tasted exactly like it "should". We sit around basically for three hours (George and Bill, you would have loved it) doing NOTHING waiting to pick up the passport. Then the translator takes the passport, puts it into her little plastic folder and won't give it to me. I asked, "Can I have it." She said, "No, we have to wait for Nina to get here. I will give it to her and she will give it to you. This is how it works." Okee Dokee. So, when Nina gets there, Oksana hands her the passport and Nina hands it to me. But then I have to hand it back because she still has to go make copies. I tell you what, these folks have this down to a science. For as much as it's an art in the US, it's a science here and they are very good scientists. They run these things like a clock.

There are no photos from today. This may be the first time in history I have been away from home and gone a whole day without one photo. But there was really nothing to photograph, just us sitting around. Jack would have hated this day, it's his worst nightmare. Alot of doing nothing, but big stuff happening all at the same time.

Brian and I went back to the restaurant where we ate last night, The Other Side Gastro Bar and Grill. That's really the name. Yummy mushrooms and sandwiches.

Tomorrow we will be picked up at 8:30. We will head straight to the baby home and spring Meg from the compound. Amie and Kendra, I don't know who's dress this was she's leaving in tomorrow, but it's a Baby Lulu from one of you! So cute! I'll be sure to have tons of photos of that!

Anyway, our flight leaves for Moscow at 2:00 tomorrow and we will be there by 3:30. We are to go straight to the CSS office in Moscow where we will collect our file for the Embassy. The Moscow folks are just awesome. They really have it all together. I love these ladies already and I haven't even met them!

Next post, Moscow!

Psalm18:20
"He set me free in the open; He rescued me because He loves me!"