We have started a paper chain for the countdown to the days we are registered. Did I mention that before? Anyway, we were down to three, but then we had to add on fourteen more. So now we are back down to nine. Whew! Our most recent round of papers went to Russia with another family (hand carried) today. It should not be a problem to be registered on the 25th, providing there are no unforeseen issues.
God really does provide in His perfect timing. What we have learned since our delay is that in the month of March, my brother and his wife can basically come move into our house for the week in take care of the boys, house, dog, etc. That will make things much easier on us for traveling. So, that's one ray of light in this dreary wait. But things aren't all a loss, I've amassed a collection of bows and clothing that any little girl would love... most of it summer. So when she gets here, we'll be ready! Love you friends!
Saturday, February 16, 2008
Friday, February 8, 2008
Nothing worth doing is ever easy... or something like that!
Okay, I know they say that good things come to those who wait...so what about those who WAIT AND WAIT AND WAIT AND WAIT AND WAIT AND WAIT AND WAIT AND WAIT AND WAIT AND WAIT? I was informed (very brusquely I might add) by our agency rep that we will NOT be registered in St. Pete on February 11 after all. They needed some extra paperwork for our dossier (this is in addition to the five extra documents we already sent them.) So, there was no way that I could gather the papers on Wednesday, FedEx them for Thursday delivery, get them from NC to Russia and translated by Monday, February 11 and forwarded to St. Petersburg... so, the wait goes on... and on, etc. etc.
The really funny thing is that the documents they are asking for are really redundant and ridiculous. The first thing they wanted was a license from our social worker (okay, not an outrageous request), a letter from the State of Tennessee saying that our agency is in good standing (even though our agency has a current license from the State of Tennessee, which we have already provided three State verified copies of) and (get this) an addendum to our home study stating where we go to church and that we promise not to make our kids go to church if they don't want to or to force them to be Catholic when they grow up. I could go on and on about all the reasons this is a ridiculous request, first of which being what kind of mother would I be if I allowed the whims of my three year old child to dictate what I do every Sunday morning... but not the least of which being that I make Jack go to CCD every Wednesday against his will, just because I know he likes to complain. So, anyway, that's the latest... more of nothing, really.
"I am the Lord, the God of every person on Earth. Nothing is impossible for me." Jeremiah 32:27
The really funny thing is that the documents they are asking for are really redundant and ridiculous. The first thing they wanted was a license from our social worker (okay, not an outrageous request), a letter from the State of Tennessee saying that our agency is in good standing (even though our agency has a current license from the State of Tennessee, which we have already provided three State verified copies of) and (get this) an addendum to our home study stating where we go to church and that we promise not to make our kids go to church if they don't want to or to force them to be Catholic when they grow up. I could go on and on about all the reasons this is a ridiculous request, first of which being what kind of mother would I be if I allowed the whims of my three year old child to dictate what I do every Sunday morning... but not the least of which being that I make Jack go to CCD every Wednesday against his will, just because I know he likes to complain. So, anyway, that's the latest... more of nothing, really.
"I am the Lord, the God of every person on Earth. Nothing is impossible for me." Jeremiah 32:27
Saturday, February 2, 2008
Discerning God's precious and mighty voice!
Wow, what a week! Brian has been out of town and I have been a single parent for around eight days... whew! On top of that, many emotional opportunities have arisen concerning our adoption, a few little bumps in the road, but no major turbulence... yet.
Anyway, lot's of things to pray about and consider, but nothing much to report. The big news is that our dossier DID arrive in St. Petersburg. It took an overnight train on Tuesday, January 29. So, it's officially there and there are not only nine more days until registration! WOOHOOO!!!!!
The other news is that Brian will 99% sure be traveling on the first trip with me, so there will be no need for a traveling companion, but more need for babysitters... so rev up your math skills as Jack has lots of homework.
We were presented with the unique opportunity to inquire about a specific child that is on the Russian database. Her name is Manisa. She is the most beuatiful little dark haired, dark eyed little girl, wavy curls and big brown eyes. I was actually sitting down to type out the formal request for information on her when I felt God tug at my heart. This is beyond my level of knowledge, skill and certainty. I see only a tiny piece of the picture, and that piece is further blurred by my own view of the world... I see only what the world sees (a strikingly beautiful child.) But there is One who sees it all. Do I dare interfere with His perfect plan by inserting my worldly influenced choices into the process? Or has He drawn my focus to this particular child because He is calling us to her? How do I know where my voice ends and the Holy Spirit's leading begins? I am holding God to his promise in Deuteronomy 5:31, "As for you, stand here by Me, that I may speak to you." I am just trying to stand and wait for Him to speak life into my heart concerning this most crucial decision. I know the world would tell me to go for it... but dare I miss what He is saying!
I have been praying about it and really feel like God is telling me that I don't see the whole picture. He sees every girl in every orphanage in St. Petersburg and He has directed us this far past leaving our agency, etc. I think He has set us up for a situation where He can place our daughter in our arms. It's VERY hard for me to walk away from the little girl, Manisa, because I see her face every time I think of Mary Margaret now. I can't stand to think of her without a family forever.. if you could only see her precious face! BUT, I do feel that I am looking at a very limited amount of information, just her photo... I don't know her personality, her health, or her future. God does. If He has chosen a specific little girl for us and we adopt someone else, then the little girl He has for us might be left in the orphanage forever... I just think that He knows the needs of each child, our family, her health future and past, and He is better informed to make the choice than I am. It's SO hard to let go of it and trust. I know God can purpose good from all our missteps, but I also know that we can set ourselves on paths we were never meant to take by not being still and listening to Him. I want to be like Habakkuk, "I will stand on my guard post and station myself on the rampart; And I will keep watch to see what He will speak to me." Habakkuk 2:1 In the Hebrew translation of this verse, to stand means "to endure, remain and to be standing both in body and attitude." Habakkuk expected God to answer him, and so do I. I know He is moving, even when I don't feel it or hear it, I must be on the lookout and ready to receive His confirmation when He is ready to reveal Himself. Please pray for me... patience and giving over control are not two of my strong suits, but as I spoke of a few posts ago, I want this journey to be as much about refining me to what He has planned as it is about completing our family.
Wow, you're still reading? You must be really bored! Please pray with us that we will discern God's voice, wait for it, and then have the courage to follow Him where He is leading and the wisdom to obey.
"Wait for the Lord; Be strong, and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the Lord." Psalm 27:14
Anyway, lot's of things to pray about and consider, but nothing much to report. The big news is that our dossier DID arrive in St. Petersburg. It took an overnight train on Tuesday, January 29. So, it's officially there and there are not only nine more days until registration! WOOHOOO!!!!!
The other news is that Brian will 99% sure be traveling on the first trip with me, so there will be no need for a traveling companion, but more need for babysitters... so rev up your math skills as Jack has lots of homework.
We were presented with the unique opportunity to inquire about a specific child that is on the Russian database. Her name is Manisa. She is the most beuatiful little dark haired, dark eyed little girl, wavy curls and big brown eyes. I was actually sitting down to type out the formal request for information on her when I felt God tug at my heart. This is beyond my level of knowledge, skill and certainty. I see only a tiny piece of the picture, and that piece is further blurred by my own view of the world... I see only what the world sees (a strikingly beautiful child.) But there is One who sees it all. Do I dare interfere with His perfect plan by inserting my worldly influenced choices into the process? Or has He drawn my focus to this particular child because He is calling us to her? How do I know where my voice ends and the Holy Spirit's leading begins? I am holding God to his promise in Deuteronomy 5:31, "As for you, stand here by Me, that I may speak to you." I am just trying to stand and wait for Him to speak life into my heart concerning this most crucial decision. I know the world would tell me to go for it... but dare I miss what He is saying!
I have been praying about it and really feel like God is telling me that I don't see the whole picture. He sees every girl in every orphanage in St. Petersburg and He has directed us this far past leaving our agency, etc. I think He has set us up for a situation where He can place our daughter in our arms. It's VERY hard for me to walk away from the little girl, Manisa, because I see her face every time I think of Mary Margaret now. I can't stand to think of her without a family forever.. if you could only see her precious face! BUT, I do feel that I am looking at a very limited amount of information, just her photo... I don't know her personality, her health, or her future. God does. If He has chosen a specific little girl for us and we adopt someone else, then the little girl He has for us might be left in the orphanage forever... I just think that He knows the needs of each child, our family, her health future and past, and He is better informed to make the choice than I am. It's SO hard to let go of it and trust. I know God can purpose good from all our missteps, but I also know that we can set ourselves on paths we were never meant to take by not being still and listening to Him. I want to be like Habakkuk, "I will stand on my guard post and station myself on the rampart; And I will keep watch to see what He will speak to me." Habakkuk 2:1 In the Hebrew translation of this verse, to stand means "to endure, remain and to be standing both in body and attitude." Habakkuk expected God to answer him, and so do I. I know He is moving, even when I don't feel it or hear it, I must be on the lookout and ready to receive His confirmation when He is ready to reveal Himself. Please pray for me... patience and giving over control are not two of my strong suits, but as I spoke of a few posts ago, I want this journey to be as much about refining me to what He has planned as it is about completing our family.
Wow, you're still reading? You must be really bored! Please pray with us that we will discern God's voice, wait for it, and then have the courage to follow Him where He is leading and the wisdom to obey.
"Wait for the Lord; Be strong, and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the Lord." Psalm 27:14
Monday, January 28, 2008
A little perspective...
Time always gives a little perspective. Knowing God's timing is perfect and agreeing with Him are two totally different things! But the weekend gave me some perspective and I realize that the timing of the delayed registration is actually probably better. Our friends the Hollis' are paper ready, so now there's a chance that their dossier could go with ours. If that happens, then we will most likely travel together... what a BLESSING! The earliest we would travel at this point would be the beginning of March for the first trip, which puts the second trip somewhere closer to warm weather, even if not in the summer. I swore I would never return to Russia in the winter again, and God seems to be agreeing with me! :) And, really, spring break would be so much more convenient for everyone who's helping with the boys, so we might just luck into those dates at this point. Too much later though, and we start getting into Jack's first communion and golf trips, so let's keep our fingers crossed that this is the last delay. Just rambling on here... wishing there was something substantial to tell you, but it's therapeutic to spill it. Thanks for walking this with us!
"Grace to you and Peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. I give thanks to my God at every remembrance of you." Philippians 1:1-3
"Grace to you and Peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. I give thanks to my God at every remembrance of you." Philippians 1:1-3
Friday, January 25, 2008
Blue in a Sea of Pink
Well, it's not the best day on the adoption road. I should have known when Connor picked up our spiritual vitamin at the Y today that it was a sign of God's insisting on some of that perserverance I spoke of (see the scripture at the bottom of the entry.) Of course, I know in my head that there are bound to be these days. Things never go as planned in an international adoption, and how many times I have counseled families that two weeks here or there isn't really catastrophic in the grand scheme of life. But sitting here it sure feels like two weeks is a long time. The agency did not get our dossier translated in time to be registered on Monday. I am not sure what the hold up was. Truthfully, who knows, it could be as simple as there is another dossier to go to St. Pete and it's more efficient for their staff to process bulk numbers than singles, that's not unlikely, actually. Whatever the reason, we will now be registered in St. Petersburg on February 11, barring any more unforeseen delays. In the meantime, this feels excruciatingly slow. It's so hard for me to be an "outsider" in the process. I am accustomed to having access to the Russian staff directly, so this is out of my comfort zone. Can you say... "control issues!" Anyway, that's the latest. So, no more counting down until January 28... now the countdown is on to February 11. I don't like living for a date... my bad mood is in danger of becoming chronic at this point. UGH!
Couple that with a little disciplinary issue with Liam at school today, Brian is out of town, Connor wet his pants today... three times, and you have for one not so terrific day in the life of a mom. But, I am NOT complaining. My friend Melanie is on her way to the funeral of a 17 month old little girl who lost her battle with a heart condition on Wednesday, so even in the midst of all these minor annoyances, I am overly and abundantly blessed. The mom of the little girl amazed me with her faith and I am sure she inspired many who walked the journey with her. The morning after she held her daughter into heaven, she had the strength to write an e-mail about how blessed she is. So if she can endure that, who am I to complain about a few little hiccups in a day filled with blessings!
"Be strong and courageous... for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9
Couple that with a little disciplinary issue with Liam at school today, Brian is out of town, Connor wet his pants today... three times, and you have for one not so terrific day in the life of a mom. But, I am NOT complaining. My friend Melanie is on her way to the funeral of a 17 month old little girl who lost her battle with a heart condition on Wednesday, so even in the midst of all these minor annoyances, I am overly and abundantly blessed. The mom of the little girl amazed me with her faith and I am sure she inspired many who walked the journey with her. The morning after she held her daughter into heaven, she had the strength to write an e-mail about how blessed she is. So if she can endure that, who am I to complain about a few little hiccups in a day filled with blessings!
"Be strong and courageous... for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9
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