Reality Check

Well, speak it and God will prove you wrong! Seriously, at almost 40 with four kids, I must be the most clueless person on the planet. I still have SO much to learn.

Today we had a little reality check, which sent me searching for a more comfortable sling or carrier that won't break the bank. But if I don't find another alternative in the next couple of days, I'm splurging for the Ergo carrier everyone raves about.

First, let me just veer off the subject for a nano-sec... Sister got a haircut at Sweet and Sassy and she looks so much cuter without the mullet. See photos for proof! :)



Anyway, today, Meg started the smacking routine almost as soon as she woke up. So I had had it, really, I was just done with it and didn't know how in the world to get my point across that I wasn't kidding about "nice hands." So, I was too firm with her and she cried for thirty minutes. But that wasn't the reality check. The reality check came when she tried to "reconnect" with me on HER terms. I made the initial reconnection attempt by kissing her hands and rubbing her face softly. She would not let me touch her hands. She pulled away from me. So I put her in the baby sling and held her very close. I got out some food to try to feed her face to face, but she refused all attempts. Then she grabbed my nose, made a funny noise and said, "Nose." So my heart did a little flip, realizing that she was trying to control the reconnection and make it on her terms. She was rejecting my terms of reconnection, most likely from fear of rejection and from experience at controlling the situation around her. I kept her in the carrier until she allowed me to kiss and rub her hands and she allowed me to hand feed her grapes. And until she genuinely wanted down to play, not just to get away from me.

It was a very good reality check for me. I was cruising along thinking things were really settling in so much quicker than I thought. And then the mack truck of attachment hits me from behind and reminds me that we have SO far to go. We have not arrived at our destination, we haven't even stopped for our first real refill. We just had a pic-nic at a lovely little rest stop, but now we're back on the road again and we're all the wiser because we're rested up and we know the work we have ahead of us.

I post this because I want to say that there are SO many little subtle signs that might not mean much to most parents, but to post adoptive parents, they are everything! We are hyper sensitive because we MUST be! Bare with us while we readjust!

"Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged." Colossians 3:21