Aren't we the lucky ones?!!!

A recurring theme in my life lately seems to be how "lucky" our kids are (particularly in reference to our daughter) to be adopted into our family. I don't get this. I mean, yes, I realize that children are not meant to grow up in orphanages and need the love that a family offers. I realize all that. But people make comments to us about how lucky our kids are and what a great thing we are doing as if Brian and I are these self-less philanthropists out to free the world of injustice (or at least orphans.) In reality, we are selfish humans who are purely motivated by self-centered desires. We are not adopting our daughter, or any other children for that matter, to save a life. We are adopting our daughter because we want a daughter. We want to share our home with another child. We want our boys to have a sister, we want to know the love of both daughters and sons. Here all the "we's" in those sentences? That's because we came to the decision to add a child to our family motivated by our wishes and desires and those of our sons. We came to this point because we felt it would be a good thing for our family. Of course, the nice affect of our selfish motives is that an orphan does get to know the love of a family. Of course, I do hope that Mary Margaret will be blessed by the outcome of our selfish motivation to bring her into our family. I hope that this will be one of the best things to happen to her and I know that it will certainly change the trajectory of her life irrevocably. I know all those things and I am glad that this one thing we are doing to fulfill our own desires will have a positive impact on another human and hopefully the world in general. But honestly, it is us, our family, and Brian and I as a couple, who are blessed beyond reason and belief by the addition of each of these children to our lives. There is no other way to look at it, it's our blessing far more than it's theirs, to parent these little souls.

On my soapbox for a minute, I will tell you that as a Social Worker, I found that the people who did adopt out of a need to rescue someone were usually ill-advised. The only reason to adopt a child is that you desire to add a child to your family. People who approached adoption to fulfill a need to "rescue" a "pitiful" orphan, find that the high of humanitarian goodwill quickly fades when you are living with another person and they are dependent on you for every need. Once the person is actually "rescued", then the motivation is gone. It's always best to remember that the only reason to adopt is a desire to parent! I know there are always extenuating circumstances and I'm not saying that people who stumble upon adoption cannot make it work, but in general, if you don't have a desire to parent another little human, you should probably stick to writing checks to save the world, not adopting!

So, now that I'll step down off my soap box for a little soul-baring. I am really missing our daughter right now. I am starting to feel the pain of separation. I am starting to worry about her. I know that the baby home has done an excellent job of caring for her and they will continue to care for her. I am not worried about that. I am just wanting her here to be part of our family and experience all the fun we are having with our lazy summer days. I want her here laying around for lazy mornings and going to the pool for swim practice. I want to take her on the boat and have her in the backyard catching lightening bugs with her brothers. I want to be spending the summer getting to know her and having her get to know us.

Romans 8:24
"For in hope we have been saved, but hope that is seen is not hope; for who hopes for what he already sees?"