Submission....

Well, I am finding it much easier to submit to this process since last Friday. I have just been actually trying to even practice a posture of submission in my prayer time (which is usually about ten seconds before the boys feet hit the ground.) And I mean posture in the literal sense. It has really helped me to just have my head bowed, my shoulders down, and be "bowed" to my Lord.

The blessing of the week has been that I found two support groups on-line to tap into. (Thanks TH) One is for clients of our particular agency (CSS) and the other is for parents who are or have adopted from St. Petersburg region. This has been SO helpful to me in passing the weekend and feeling connected to others in my same boat. There is really something so helpful about talking to others who are in our unique position. It's funny how much these lists can come to mean to you and what friendships are forged. I still keep in touch with a couple that I met through our first adoption. It's an invaluable source of information too. I have already learned some things about St. Pete region that are a bit different from Moscow. The agency, of course, can give you the technical specs of what that looks like, but it's different when you live it.

So, I'm taking a deep breath at this point and just exhaling slowly. Brian keeps reminding me that God never said following His will would be a breeze, He only said that is where His blessing and protection lie. I am committed to this region, process, agency, etc. unless I hear very clearly from God that He has other plans for me. The really obvious thing about this is that it's so much easier to live in this state than the state I have been in for the past few weeks. I really think THAT is what God meant when He said "....His yoke is easy and burden light." Not that your circumstances would be easy, but that it's infinitely easier to be in His will and walking in His way than it is to be going solo because He is shouldering the load for me.

Please continue to pray for us though. I know right now the clouds have cleared for me and I have found some serenity, but I know that my stamina is weak and I will falter if the road is too bumpy. I have no faith in myself, only God's ability to carry me through. I want you all to hold me accountable to submission! I think this is one part of adoption that is so addictive because we have to live in such a communion with our Savior to get through this that you don't want to leave that place. And PLEASE, keep Mary Margaret in your prayers. All this time while I am just wanting to hold her, she is likely hungry, alone, and needing what we have for her here. As we wait in joyful hope for the resurrection of Christ at Easter, we also wait in faithful hope for our union with our daughter!

"And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."
Phil. 4:7