You know you're a pre-adoptive parent when....

1. You carry your cell phone with you everywhere you go and will it to ring by STARING at it every five minutes
2. You stalk your e-mail and every other PAP (pre-adoptive parent) blog to see if ANYONE is getting "the call"
3. You start to talk about friends from your "virtual community" in everyday conversation.
4. You start to invent jokes about being a PAP to pass the never-ending hours of the day.
5. You stalk your own blog to see who has looked at your site in the last 24 hours.

Okay, I am guilty of all of the above... except the joke one, that was a nod to my friend in Florida. But I WOULD make up a joke if I could find my sense of humor.

There are so many things about adoption that are difficult and stressful. But one of the many, many positives I have experienced is the community you become so attached to during this process. There are tons of "groups" on the internet devoted to the topic of adoption. At present, I belong to about four groups. One is just a Russian adoption group, which is very general and populated by tons of people so I don't really follow that group too closely, I just check in about once a week to see if any important "thread" (topic) is being discussed. Then there is a St. Petersburg Adoption group. This group is a little more focused for my purposes, but still the folks on there are not particularly "involved" in one another's process. The list I really LOVE is the one that is specific to my agency. These folks are a true community. We all know one another, we know who is asking for girls, who wants a boy, who has been waiting a long time, who is between trips, who have had heartbreaking experiences and who are on cloud nine at home with their new little angels. These are the folks who are starting to blend from my virtual life to my real life. These are the folks I talk about and quote in conversation to others.

One of my friends on the list is doing an informative string of posts on her blog to inform folks about the adoption process and terminology. I love reading it because I am sure it's helping alot of people who check in with questions on whether or not they are going to adopt. I don't have the energy to be that organized with my rambling and ranting, but I can tell you the life-changing positives that have come from adoption for me.

I honestly think these are the things that cause some folks to become addicted to the adoption process. There is no other time in my life when I have felt so dependent on God and so connected to a specific community of people.

Alot of people have asked me why Brian and I are adopting again instead of having another baby. The obvious reason is that I want to be 100% certain that my fourth child is a girl. But beyond that, the adoption experience for me, brings me into a community experience that you just don't have when you are pregnant. Pregnancy is such a personal experience. You are feeling the baby move, you are carrying the weight and responsibility of the pregnancy and child. For me, it was a very individual experience. And I'm more of a community kind of a girl. So for me, the adoption experience is actually more exciting at this point in my life than the thought of another pregnancy.

As I get older, I find that community is such a vital part of life for me. Brian and I are living in a house that we long ago "outgrew" because of the amazing community my family has here. God ministers to me through these amazing women, their husbands and children. My community of friends are my "wise counselors" and they KNOW me. Sometimes they are able to see stressers in my life that I don't even see and they counsel me to take a harder look. And they are usually RIGHT. So that is what I have with my on-line community now too. My friend, Michelle, who lives in Tampa, whom I have never met, also has three boys and is adopting. She gives me a reality check with her compassion for the process where I just want to grumble most of the time. Nicole and I are shopping for fabric "together" as we discuss themes for her daughters new room. One gal who lives close to us has actually met me for lunch one day after we had talked on the phone for MONTHS. We both switched from CHI to CSS at the same time, so we walked through that difficult decision together.

Anyway, this is way more information than you needed. Unless you are a PAP, you're actually probably not even reading at this point. But if by some chance you are reading this and trying to decide whether or not to join us on the adoption journey, I would just say, "Come on in. The water is rough at points, there are rapids to navigate, but you will have an amazing community of fellow PAPs to guide you and support you and you will NEVER regret it."

Romans 8:15
"For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out, "Abba! Father!"